coyotesuspect

I've never seen Full Metal Jacket, so I'm doing this based off the Wikipedia entry. But it seems to me that Jensen is Pvt. Pyle (only picked on for being pretty and effeminate rather than fat and awkward), and Jared is Joker. Only there's more sexing. JDM is the evil sergeant, because poor JDM is always the villain. The relationship between Jared and Jensen more or less progresses the same way as the relationship progresses in the movie, only Jared is a wee bit nicer and there's sex eventually.

From there, you have two choices: Jared either manages to stop Jensen from killing himself and JDM, and you end the AU with only half the plot of the movie. Or you still have Jensen go crazy-killer, and then abbreviate the second half where Jared is in Vietnam and has his humanity stripped away.

Some J2 AU's don't have happy endings. ):

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

But then, I could probably make a case for ANY episode.
lol. You really could, couldn't you. :D

From:

moodswingers.livejournal.com

Or Jensen could be a prostitute. :)

From:

Could be?

From:

In no particular order: Mystery Spot, Sex and Violence, Croatoan, All Hell Breaks Loose part 2, A VERY SUPERNATURAL CHRISTMAS, Skin, The End. Also? All of them.

LOL, I cannot wait to see this: My favorite movie in Lord of the Rings. How, praytell, is that a J2 AU?

And why would you do that to poor, poor Castiel? I actually now have a theory for just what kind of ass reaming Castiel got in heaven as punishment during The Rapture.

From:

LotR is actually three movies. Gawsh. But I will humor you.

Jensen is obviously Frodo, and Jared's Samwise. And all that subtext just becomes text. Sandy is Rosie, and in the end Jared realizes he's in love with Jensen, and Jensen decides he'd rather stay with Jared in the shire.

Misha and Chad are Pippin and Merry. JDM is Aragon. Aldis Hodge and Chris Kane are Legolas and Gimli. Gandalf is clearly Jim Beaver. Mike Rosenbaum and Tom Welling are Boromir and Faramir, respectively. And Danneel Harris is TOTALLY Eowyn. While Sophia Bush is Arwen.

Sauron is still Sauron, and all that other stuff with the ring and the war and the dark forces of Mordor still remain the same.

So basically, Jared and Jensen, as Hobbits, go on an epic quest to save Middle Earth and fall in love along the way.

BECAUSE EVEN SNAPE NEEDS SOMEONE TO LOVE. OR TO BE STARED AT CREEPILY BY.

What's your theory for Castiel's ass reaming? (Snape?)

From:

OH MY GOD. I THINK I SHIP MISHA/CHAD HARDER THAN I SHIP JARED/JENSEN. And...Umm...Chris/Aldis, too. And Mike/Tom.

Poor Castiel. Snape is a nasty. Snape is what you're forced to have ass sex with when you're straight and not cooperating with heaven.

From:

And Mike/Tom.
LAWL. INCEST.

I don't actually ship Sam/Frodo in LotR, but in a J2 AU of LotR that's who they'd be, and I'd totally ship them.

...And I totally don't have the sudden urge to write the boys as Hobbits now.

YOU DENY SNAPE AND CASTIEL'S EPIC LOVE?

From:

I would so ship them, too! I REFUSE TO WRITE IT. I HAVE ALREADY DONE FILTHY THINGS TO HOBBITS AND WILL DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE...

But JDM really is Aragorn...and Jim really is Gandalf, though I gotta say KRIPKE IS SAURON BECAUSE HE CREATED THE RING AND WE BOTH LOVE HIM AND HATE HIM FOR IT.

I will not write this AU! Make it stop!!!

I...ummm...I'm not touching Castiel and Snape's epic Love with Jared's ten foot pole.

From:

I was thinking Kripke could be Gollum. Because he lovess the Hobbitses, but sometimes he just has to do evil things to them, you know?

But Sauron works too.

I will not write this AU! Make it stop!!!
Muahahahaha.

I did the same thing to familiar_devil with the Ring. :3

But you will touch Jared's ten foot pole?

From:

I have one hand on Jared's ten foot pole at all times.

From:

LOL

There you go again. Confusing yourself with Jensen.

*shakes head sadly*

From:

D:

YOU MEAN I'M NOT JENSEN!?!? I always thought I was! This is the worst day ever.

From:

We all have to face the truth sometime. ):

Also, I just realized that hobbit!Jared would be about the size of your average human.

From:

I just realized that hobbit!Jared would be about the size of your average human.

^ I want to frame that sentence. Srsly.

From:

YOU CANT FRAME THE TRUTH.

Well. Maybe you can.

From:

OMG SNASTIEL?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm DYING! P.S. I know what you mean about the J2AU thing. I had season tickets to the opera last year, and guess what I was doing through each and every show? IT'S ADDICTIVE! :D:D:D:D

P.P.S. I must know the origins of snastiel!!!

From:

I think it had something to do with familiar_devil and I deciding that the only thing as bad as Dean/Castiel was Snape/Lupin. So...from there, the jump in logic was pretty easy. Except, I'm pretty sure Ginny Weasley was involved at some point too...

The state of Arkansas and A Walk to Remember were involved somewhere along the way. But that's neither here nor there.

I had season tickets to the opera last year, and guess what I was doing through each and every show?
LMAO! J2!Opera=awesome and hilarious.

From:

Aaaahahahahahahaha. That is pretty awesome, not even gonna lie. Also, a BIG FRICKIN' AMEN to the aggro over both Dean/Castiel and Snape/Lupin. I seriously don't get either one. And the thought of adding Ginny Weasly anywhere into that quadramess makes my brain cry. But I bet that was some conversation... :D

J2!Opera--I...may or may not have started a J2 Tosca fic...

From:

But I bet that was some conversation... :D
To be honest, all of our conversations tend to run along those lines. XD

J2!Opera--I...may or may not have started a J2 Tosca fic...
*evil grin* ORLY?

From:

Yeeeeeah. If I ever finish it, it might be rockin', but I can't decide if want it to end tragically (like the opera) or not. I LOVE SCHMOOP! ...which makes me wonder how I can like opera. Huh. :D

From:

I LOVE SCHMOOP! ...which makes me wonder how I can like opera.
Or SPN. XD

And I vote HAPPY ENDING. What's the point of revision if Jared and Jensen don't get to live happily ever after with lots of boysex? ;D

From:

That's what I was thinking! I'm glad you concur. :D:D:D:D

From:

Yay! <333

From:

quarterwhore.livejournal.com

SNASTIEL OMG OTPPPPP

From:

YOU CANNOT DENY THE POWER OF THEIR LOVE!!!111eleventyomg!!11!one!1

From:

familiardevil.livejournal.com

Bwuhahahaha.

Well, since we have already decided that Chad is the little girl at the bottom of the well...

LOL @ YOUR ETA

From:

I had season tickets to the opera last year, and guess what I was doing through each and every show?
WHAT. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT AND NOT AT ALL RELATED TO WHAT YOU THINK IT IS RELATED TO.

From:

familiardevil.livejournal.com

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
IN CONCLUSION:
DEAN/SAM/DEAN

From:

BEST CONCLUSION EVER. ALL PAPERS AND SPEECHES SHOULD CONCLUDE LIKE THAT.

Obama: Today, I am proud on behalf of all Americans to accept the Nobel Peace Prize and- *long, stirring, extremely eloquent and moving speech on peace and the role of America in the world*- Thank you again, and, in conclusion: Dean/Sam/Dean.

From:

familiardevil.livejournal.com

In conclusion.
Dean/Sam/Dean.

From:

I think people have already mentioned most of these but to me the most wincesty episodes are: Bloody Mary, Croatoan, Hunted, Playthings, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Time is on My Side ("LET'S BE ZOMBIE CREATURES TOGETHER FOREVER :D :D" I love you crazy!Sam), Sex and Violence, The End. And of course ALL OF THEM. Especially season three. Season three is all codependent incestuous gay love all the time.

Also, "Nasti." *dies and is dead* THEIR LOVE IS EPIC AND BEAUTIFUL.

From:

ID FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT TIME IS ON MY SIDE!!

But you are so right. <333 And "LET'S BE ZOMBIE CREATURES TOGETHER FOREVER :D :D" is the perfect summary for it. Oh Sam, ilusfm.

Especially season three. Season three is all codependent incestuous gay love all the time.
ISNT IT THOUGH? I don't understand why people don't see this. ): Everyone's always dissing S3, WHEN IT SO BEAUTIFUL AND AWESOME AND SAM IS SO TRAGICALLY IN LOVE WITH HIS DEAN. <33333

THEIR LOVE IS EPIC AND BEAUTIFUL.
I THINK SO TOO. THEYRE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.

From:

I love Time is on My Side but a lot of people forget about it, I think because it is caught inbetween the awesome of Ghostfacers and the tragedy of No Rest for the Wicked. It was just on tv here last Friday, that is how far behind New Zealand is, and we watched it and it was glorious. OH SAM.

IT SERIOUSLY IS, EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF IT. I love season three, I think that most of my very favourite episodes are from that season. I guess it's not as good as whole than other seasons, but some of the individual episodes are fantastic. AND YES, SAM IS AMAZING IN IT. I LOVE HOW DESPERATE AND KICK ASS AND TRAGIC ~~AND CRAZY~~ HE IS.

Edited Date: 2009-10-13 03:48 am (UTC)

From:

a lot of people forget about it, I think because it is caught inbetween the awesome of Ghostfacers and the tragedy of No Rest for the Wicked.
This. Exactly.

I LOVE SEASON 3 TOO. I think it is actually my favorite season. I know people don't seem to think it hangs well together, but I love almost every single episode, and I think Sam's desperation serves as better cohesion than any war between angels and demons. IDK. My opinion is unpopular. I guess I will accept that.

AND IT IS SO EASY TO UNDERSTAND S4 SAM IN THE CONTEXT OF S3. I don't get why more people don't see that. ):

From:

I think Sam's desperation serves as better cohesion than any war between angels and demons.
This! Yes yes yes!

I love season three too, actually, it's probably my favourite as well and I've watched it more than any other season, but I think I can understand why a lot of people don't like it so much.

Plus, I love the boys' relationship in season three. S1 we see them learning how to relate to each other again and coming to know each other as adults. S2 we see how they've come together as a unit and S3 they're all wonderfully twisted up in each other. I love it.

AND IT IS SO EASY TO UNDERSTAND S4 SAM IN THE CONTEXT OF S3.
YES, THANK YOU! WHY DO PEOPLE NOT GET THIS? I've always said that I think Sam's actions in season four made complete sense to me, you can totally see why he does what he does. It's like the people who bitch about it are only looking at his season one characterisation or something.

From:

S3 they're all wonderfully twisted up in each other. I love it.
Yes. This! Their entire focus is on each other. It's very, well, incestuous. And while I think S4 was more subtext heavy, it's landscape was wider, and that's part of the reason I'm so uncomfortable with the season. It's not that I necessarily want an MOTW every episode, but I like it better when the boys' main focus is on being with each other. <333

I've always said that I think Sam's actions in season four made complete sense to me
THEY DO TO ME TOO! Even the demon-blood drinking. I always lie and say that, "Oh. I understand Sam in S4, but the demon blood was a bad idea." But no. Fuck it. If Ruby had turned out to be good (and there was very little reason for Sam to think otherwise), the demon blood would have been a damn fine idea.

Sam is responsible for some of his... less than stellar interactions with Dean last season, and I'll never truly forgive him for kidnapping and killing the RN, but he's so not as monstrous or incomprehensible as people make him out to be. ):

Sorry. D: That got ranty.

From:

t's not that I necessarily want an MOTW every episode, but I like it better when the boys' main focus is on being with each other.
Oh so agreed!

If Ruby had turned out to be good (and there was very little reason for Sam to think otherwise), the demon blood would have been a damn fine idea.
Exactly! Sam was brilliantly and ruthlessly manipulated, yes he's still responsible for his own actions but I'd like people to stop acting like he purposefully began the apocalypse. It felt so good to see Dean address that in the last episode.

I'll never truly forgive him for kidnapping and killing the RN
Omg, you know I'd half forgotten about that. Sam's got to be having some serious guilt about her (as he should of course).

Ranty is all good by me! :D

From:

lackadaisy.livejournal.com

Oh Coy, Coy...

Okay, do a j2 au rewrite of Teeth I dare you.

Subtexty goodness? Season 1: bloody mary, playthings, (and I'm so tired cuz it's nearing 1 am so I'll thing of better options tomorrow)

From:

That is so not your favorite movie. But it does sound both horrifying and hilarious.

And, okay, I admit it. A perfect J2!AU for that movie would not exist.

You'd have to write a sequel. Where Jensen's um, you know, has teeth. And he's been hitch-hiking across America biting off the penises of truckers, until he meets Jared, who's sweet and kind and wonderful and teaches Jensen how to ~love~. And they manage to have sex without any teeth biting, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except for all the truckers.

From:

Ah, Snape/Castiel. Now there's a pairing I would love to hate, lol. IDusuallyK about Sam and Dean subtext, but Playthings from S2 was amazingly incestuous. All of S2 was, really. And honestly most of S4 was too (despite all the angst and extreme emotional stupidity) especially that Sex and Violence episode, even if we did learn that Dean wanted a Stepford Wife version of Sam :/

Hypothesis: Almost all movies can easily be reworked as a J2 AU while maintaining most elements of the plot and setting,

You know, regardless of their real life "orientations" it sometimes AMAZES me to think of all the money those two could make doing romantic comedies. Or subtext-heavy buddy/comedy movies. Or ANYTHING really, provided they spend at least 30% of their time on-screen together. IDK, sometimes I weep for all that wasted monetary potential!

From:

Ah, Snape/Castiel. Now there's a pairing I would love to hate, lol.
Really, it seems like combining two characters I hate so much would result in a hate so great, it could only be love.

You know, regardless of their real life "orientations" it sometimes AMAZES me to think of all the money those two could make doing romantic comedies. Or subtext-heavy buddy/comedy movies.
This is very true. But I think Jared realizes it too. As he said in the last interview, "Soon you'll be able to book us as a duo act."

From:

Really, it seems like combining two characters I hate so much would result in a hate so great, it could only be love.

THAT LOGIC MAKES SENSE but while I dislike most Snape FANS I never really hated Snape. His life sucked and he was a gigantic douche IN LARGE PART because his life sucked and while that doesn't excuse his behavior....idk. But yeah, it's really a lot of Snape's *~movieverse fans~* that irritated me, especially since they kept bashing Dumbledore and I loff him.

I could understand Castiel's existence in S4, even though I didn't like it (ditto for Ruby but I liked her more because HOT and because she was FUCKING SAM UP) but Castiel being in S5 is FANSERVICE and so I hate him for that. Gtfo Castiel.

BECAUSE MY FEELING ON THESE TWO CHARACTERS ARE ~~INCOHERENT~~ *~COMPLEX~* (though really you could say I hate Castiel and you wouldn't be wrong) I'll shut up now :D

This is very true. But I think Jared realizes it too. As he said in the last interview, "Soon you'll be able to book us as a duo act."

Oh god if he was being SERIOUS *__* It could be a trainwreck and I'd still have to watch it, lol.

From:

And by FEELING I meant FEELINGS, sigh.

From:

See, I can understand Snape being a jerk to Sirius and to Remus. But the fact that he picked on children always made me angry. He's a bitter man, and a stupid one (seriously, joining the Death Eaters when you're in love with a Muggleborn? Seriously?) And idk. I was secretly glad when he died even though I knew all along he was one of the ~good~ guys.

Hee. I didn't even know there were separate fans for movieverse versus bookverse. Alan Rickman rocks hard, but I don't think that redeems Snape's character. (And I loff Dumblydore too. <3)

Castiel being in S5 is FANSERVICE and so I hate him for that. Gtfo Castiel.
IT REALLY IS. But he has, in all honesty, been pissing me off a lot less this season. I no longer want him to DIAF (well, last episode I did, but for the most part no.) And season 5 as a whole has been really strong. If it continues apace, it's gonna end up being my favorite season ever. Which is nice after S4 broke my heart and pissed me off in equal measure.

It could be a trainwreck and I'd still have to watch it, lol.
I know, right? D: I want them to, because OMG HOW AWESOME WOULD IT BE?, but I don't want them to because I don't think it could live up to the ideal I have in my head.

From:

See, I can understand Snape being a jerk to Sirius and to Remus. But the fact that he picked on children always made me angry.

OH YEAH. That was my biggest beef with him by far. Most of his interactions with Harry (and Ron and Hermione) made me want to punch him in the face repeatedly. And I also agree with everything else you said. I just think a lot of fans were like OMFG ALAN RICKMAN (which is an appropriate response) BUT didn't stop to think that Alan Rickman being AWESOME does not mean Snape is awesome. Because wow, Snape is not awesome, lol.

And Dumbledore is fucking EXCELLENT. And he had a really hard life, so I'll just D: now too.

I'll probably always want Castiel to DIAF because he did a lot of horrible, shitty stuff in S4 that he'll never get called on because he's an *~angel~* but I've already resigned myself to the fact that Sam is the only one who ever gets called on his shit. AND HEY THAT REALLY ANNOYS ME BECAUSE SAM'S LIFE REALLY FUCKING SUCKS D: and I just feel like EVERYONE is pushing Sam to become EVIL (sometimes I even feel that way about Dean, because Sam needs his trust more than he needs practically anything, etc etc META I HAVE WRITTEN A THOUSAND TIMES) and it just makes me so DEPRESSED and angry because what about free will? WHATEVER.

But it's very reassuring to hear that you're enjoying S5, because it appears that we have the same tastes! Looking back on S4 I can see that overall it was pretty cohesive, but for the most part everything the show tried to do they FAILED AT, so I'm always going to be irritated with S4. And the brother vs. brother divide was just FAIL, because it was BIASED IN THE FUCKING SHOW, for one, and it made the fandom even more STUPIDLY DIVIDED and just, UGH. UGH TO YOU S4.

J2 actually making romantic comedies or ANY MOVIE wherein they appeared together would be awesome but then they'd have to continue to deal with....hmm, some of their fans that are really creepy? But then they'd make a shitton of money and they could have *~really good security~* so idk.

From: