Fic(ish): Plunder

[coyotesuspect]

This is all familiardevil 's fault. Someday, I'm sure, God will punish her.

Title: Plunder
Fandom: Supernatural RPF
Summary: Jared's a viking. He's not very good at it. Lucky for him, Jensen's here to help. CRACK. J2!Viking AU
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: ~200
Spoilers/Warnings: Crack crack crackity crack crack. No spoilers.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Jensen Ackleson, son of Ackles.

"Oh, well," said the viking. He was unusually tall even by viking standards. "You know. Pillagey stuff. Rape your earth, salt your women." He paused, looking visibly flustered. "Or was it the other way around?"

Jensen tilted his head. It was a habit he'd picked up from his friend Misha, the local winemaker. "You're kind of new at this, aren't you?" he asked.

The viking nodded, his face falling. He looked like a kicked puppy, and Jensen felt a twang of sympathy.

"Well," he suggested. "You could always throw me over your shoulder and drag me off to have your way with me."

The viking visibly perked up at that.

"Really?" he asked, eyes bright and earnest. At Jensen's nod, he broke into a wide grin. "That, that would be great!" he gushed. "Thank you so much! Only-" he faltered, and peered at Jensen anxiously.

"Wouldn't that be a bit rude? Since I don't know your name?"

Jensen sighed.

"It's Jensen," he said, holding out his hand.

The viking grabbed his hand, and then, in a fluid motion, flung him over his shoulder.

"Good to meet you Jensen," said the viking, patting him on his ass. "I'm Jared Padaleckison."

AN: I don't know either guys.

ETA: GUYS. GUYS. Viking!verse has inspired sock_marionette so much, she wrote Bleeding Kansas/pre-American Civil War Jensen/Jared in the comments. READ IT. READ IT NAO. She also suggested that there be more fics about "Jensen dealing with Jared's questionable competency as a wartime badass in a variety of historical circumstances." <--- I AGREE WITH THIS SENTIMENT MUCHLY.

ETA 2: Further proof that Viking!verse is inspirational- and that it's impossible not to ship me- taintedlove has written me/herself in the comments, with a side of J2. It's awesome.

Comments

[coyotesuspect.livejournal.com]

GISELLE IS GORGEOUS AND SWEET AND WONDERFUL AND MADE OF CUPCAKES AND I AM SO GLAD YOU SEEM TO RECOGNIZE THAT.

*has hot sex with you*

[taintedlove.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding?
That movie is loosely based on my life.

I'm a blue eyed, redheaded princess who's forced to live in stupid RL instead of my fantasty world with my little animal friends singing all the time.



oh plz, don't make me write coyote/love femslash. ;)

[coyotesuspect.livejournal.com]

Wait.

Wait. Hold the fuck on. YOU'RE A REDHEAD?

BECAUSE I AM A REDHEAD.

Oh, girl. You have to write femslash about us now.

[taintedlove.livejournal.com]

hell yes i'm a redhead! Okay, not naturally, but it's my favorite. and I'm a redhead right now, and about 75% of the time.

Title: And So It Goes
Author: taintedlove
Pairing: coyotesuspect/ taintedlove (with a side of J2.)
Rating:
Summary: "Hey, nice shoes!"

So once upon a time there was this huge supernatural convention. All the fangirls came, because Jensen had just broken up with Danneel and Jared had broken up with Jennifer and everyone was pretty sure they knew what that meant.

Taintedlove sat on her laptop in the lobby the hotel that was hosting the con, updating her twitter with reports of the morning's panel when she heard someone say "Hey nice shoes!" She looked up to see a smokin hot girl with feet similarly clod with red heels.
"I love yours too! Also, that's an awesome Superntural shirt you've got, I take it you're here for..." She squinted closer, for she had caught a glimpse of something in the other girl's eyes. Was that... Did her eyes just flash "kindred spirit"?
"COYOTE?" Taintedlove yelled.
"TAINTEDLOVE!" Coyote yelled.
And they embraced and started making out.
Jensen and Jared chose that moment to walk by.
"Holy shit, Jay, those hot redheads making out has just inspired me! Let's do it too!"
"Okay," Jared said, "but only if you promise me candy after."
And J2 made out in the lobby of the hotel, and all the fangirls screamed.
And that's how the sheer hotness of two redheads making out made J2 love canon.

The end!

[coyotesuspect.livejournal.com]

*squeals* *claps hands together*

:D :D :D :D :D

I adore this.

<3

ETA: Do you mind if I pimp this in the post itself?

[taintedlove.livejournal.com]

Bby.
You do realize you just asked me if you could pimp out me being ossum and how our combined sexiness would bring Jensen the world to it's knees in public

PIMP THIS SHIT, BBY. But only if I can too. Also, you have to write the sequel now where Danneel joins us. ;)

[coyotesuspect.livejournal.com]

I do realize that. But I was worried it might be so awesome, the world would explode.

Oh, go right ahead and pimp. And of course I'll write the sequel. ;D

[birdytalon.livejournal.com]

*snigger* you said "love canon". J2 love canon no less =0.o= *coughs*