Fic(ish): Plunder

[coyotesuspect]

This is all familiardevil 's fault. Someday, I'm sure, God will punish her.

Title: Plunder
Fandom: Supernatural RPF
Summary: Jared's a viking. He's not very good at it. Lucky for him, Jensen's here to help. CRACK. J2!Viking AU
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: ~200
Spoilers/Warnings: Crack crack crackity crack crack. No spoilers.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Jensen Ackleson, son of Ackles.

"Oh, well," said the viking. He was unusually tall even by viking standards. "You know. Pillagey stuff. Rape your earth, salt your women." He paused, looking visibly flustered. "Or was it the other way around?"

Jensen tilted his head. It was a habit he'd picked up from his friend Misha, the local winemaker. "You're kind of new at this, aren't you?" he asked.

The viking nodded, his face falling. He looked like a kicked puppy, and Jensen felt a twang of sympathy.

"Well," he suggested. "You could always throw me over your shoulder and drag me off to have your way with me."

The viking visibly perked up at that.

"Really?" he asked, eyes bright and earnest. At Jensen's nod, he broke into a wide grin. "That, that would be great!" he gushed. "Thank you so much! Only-" he faltered, and peered at Jensen anxiously.

"Wouldn't that be a bit rude? Since I don't know your name?"

Jensen sighed.

"It's Jensen," he said, holding out his hand.

The viking grabbed his hand, and then, in a fluid motion, flung him over his shoulder.

"Good to meet you Jensen," said the viking, patting him on his ass. "I'm Jared Padaleckison."

AN: I don't know either guys.

ETA: GUYS. GUYS. Viking!verse has inspired sock_marionette so much, she wrote Bleeding Kansas/pre-American Civil War Jensen/Jared in the comments. READ IT. READ IT NAO. She also suggested that there be more fics about "Jensen dealing with Jared's questionable competency as a wartime badass in a variety of historical circumstances." <--- I AGREE WITH THIS SENTIMENT MUCHLY.

ETA 2: Further proof that Viking!verse is inspirational- and that it's impossible not to ship me- taintedlove has written me/herself in the comments, with a side of J2. It's awesome.

Comments

[aldehyde.livejournal.com]

ROFL I WANT MORE VIKING AU CRACK PLS

[coyotesuspect.livejournal.com]

WHEN FAMILIARDEVIL WRITES ME RUBY AND CASTIEL CRACK, THEN WORLD GETS MOAR VIKING AU CRACK.

BUT THANK YOU FOR READING.